I think my marriage is falling apart. My wife has a bit of a temper and these days it seems like we are always fighting. I don’t want to fight anymore and I’ve explained to her that I can’t keep living like this. I used to love her but I’m not sure that I do anymore. I’m not sure if I ever loved her the way I should have loved her. She is so insecure, constantly looking over my shoulder, and blaming me for everything. I’ve told her so many times that she has to change or this won’t work. I’m not sure what to do except leave. Any advice?
Usually people who hurt others are coming from a place of hurt. If you don’t love her, if you never really loved her, she is sensing that. A woman knows when a man’s heart is somewhere else.
The way I see it, you have a couple of choices.
If you want to make your marriage work, it starts with you. You have to love her, show her you love her and tell her you love her – often! She wouldn’t be insecure unless there was a reason. Give her your heart and she will stop communicating (in the only way she knows how) that she doesn’t have it.
If you feel that you have tried everything, you know that you don’t love her and there is no way for this to work; have the strength to let her go. As a human being she deserves to have someone in her life that loves her the way she should be loved – whole heartedly.
The next move is yours, not hers.